


scars

by petitlionhomme



Series: salvia plath [7]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, No one is good, Rape Recovery, References to Shakespeare, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Relationships, referenced animal death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 13:32:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18592249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petitlionhomme/pseuds/petitlionhomme
Summary: Ash and Eiji are scarred, but Ash is hurting after a visit to his foster father’s house, he wants to be loved.





	scars

It was a cool down day, the thoughts that haunted Eiji had taken a backseat and he didn’t even want to hurt himself, but he wondered about Ash. He was quiet, having just gotten back from Dino’s and while he appeared put together, Eiji could see that he was cracking, his exterior was deteriorating and he had bruises on his wrists.

 

“Ash.”

 

Eiji climbed out of bed and walked over to where Ash was seated in the computer chair, standing a few feet away to give him space, Ash needed space after coming back from his foster father’s house.

 

“Ash, can you please look at me?”

 

It was barely there, just a flicker of his eyes but it was all Eiji needed, as he shuffled closer and sunk to his knees, laying his head on Ash’s knee. The blond barely reacted, just reached down and slowly ran a hand through Eiji’s hair, stroking in nonexistent shapes. 

 

A quiet had fallen, a gentle hush. 

 

“I saw a dead cat, on the way here.” Ash told him, voice blank and his eyes faraway. “It looked like it’s head had been bashed in, and I..” He paused, staring down at Eiji. 

 

Eiji was his Juliet, his Ophelia, his everything and he made Ash exist. He loved him so much but even then, loving someone hurt when he couldn’t quite love himself. 

 

“I wished I had been the one to hurt it, because I wanted to- wanted to hurt something. I wanted to feel, Eiji, but I can’t- everything just hurts. He hurts me so much.” 

 

A spark of grief that turned into a roaring fire of regret, as tears filled Ash’s eyes while he stared at the wall, replaying the scenes of Dino doing horrible things to him over and over again. He could still feel the man’s lips against his own, and he’d refused to kiss Eiji, scared that he would taint him.

 

Even his meager touches were dirtying, but Ash was selfish and he wanted to be loved back. He didn’t want the love Dino gave, because it hurt and it tore him apart, both figuratively and literally.

 

He was still bleeding between his legs, even now, because he’d made the mistake of fighting back, having grown so used to being with Eiji that his guard wasn’t up. 

 

It was so idiotic, but it was enough to make him feel like he deserved it. It must’ve been karma for seeing the aftermath of Yut-Lung’s defilement and doing nothing but cleaning the evidence away.

 

He _deserved_ it, to be in pain, to be bleeding through his clothes and soaking his jeans, ruining Eiji’s desk-chair but he knew that the smell of blood was plausible, but Eiji simply didn’t respond for a few moments.

 

“Wanna take a shower?” He asked, standing up and pulling Ash up without a reply, slowly walking him to the bathroom where Ash undressed himself and Eiji pretended he didn’t see the bruises on his hips and thighs. 

 

“Your wounds are healing.” Eiji commented quietly, as he turned the shower on. “They aren’t so red anymore.” He told him, walking over as he gently guided Ash into the shower. He didn’t get in, instead he sat on the floor beside the tub and rested his head on the cool lip of the tub.

 

“Soon, they’ll just be scars.” He whispered under his breath, closing his eyes.

 

It’ll all just be scars.


End file.
